more thoughts

so when i sat down to try and express more about my days of late - experiencing this tragedy, as i experienced sept. 11th, from afar - i ended up collecting conversations / feelings more than anything else.... i usually don't share poems / this sort of rambling, but thought i would this time....

"and this is supposed to be america"
the words fall like snowflakes, yet sting,
somehow becoming icicles midair,
stabbing at my already torn and tender skin

"i am ashamed"
the words tumble from my mouth,
lost even as they are spoken,
poor vessels for expressing my quietly raging storm

"you see, this is your great america"
the words spoken to a wide-eyed girl,
who stands, on the edge of womanhood, silent,
with a "bratz" notebook in her hands,
her crisp abyeya hiding all but eyes exclaiming
more than the drifting adult words gathering in the corners of the room
(she had believed in america)

"america this, america that, america for college - this is america?"
the words clucked by her mother to the collected ladies,
all of them pecking away at the america problem


frozen, i escape into a baptism by fire in the Gulf sun –
if i can melt this tempest away,
maybe i can find my faith, my footing,
and find the eloquent, hard, round words needed
to wrap around this hollow,
to tell her to still believe....
but even in the searing sunlight, i am cold


this tiny nation has offered more aid than my own government,
these people have shown more compassion than my so-called leader


as i move through this city of veiled women,
i find myself confronted with a vision of america's veil –
suddenly lifted by the winds of this disaster,
exposing ugliness and dishonesty ever disguised by leaders:
ostensible leaders caught undressed by Katrina's kiss,
without time to scramble for a new veil to shroud our view


"and this is supposed to be america"


has been quite a week here. in less weighty news - you know you're in a whole new world when the weather forecast says 41 C / 106 F (exclusive of humidity) and you think that's refreshing and cool! ... i should be getting my temporary driver's license today - inshallah - and a car by thursday which will mean freedom of movement about this city - joy!

i hope this finds you all in fine spirits.

"Be motivated like the falcon, and hunt gloriously. Be magnificent as the leopard and fight to win. Spend less time with nightingales and peacocks. One is all talk, the other only colour" - Jalaluddin Rumi*


sunlight,
mattie

* ps - a funny thing about falcons - i learned through a friend trying to plan a trip with her dog that Qatar Airways prohibits animals of any kind on their planes - except falcons (!) .... i love it - deadly prehistoric predators - welcome aboard!; toto - back to kansas, you beast!