thoughts

where to begin? it's friday – the holy day here in the muslim world. seems a good time to reflect and collect the moments and thoughts that have been gathering over the last few days.... the mosques across the city are blaring prayers – an odd sensation this morning to step into the blinding sun and be confronted with anonymous (and somehow ominous) shouting voices coming from all directions, echoing and bouncing off of buildings, and running swiftly across the sands.... i wonder if they sound angry just to me. or do i think that simply because of the things i carry as i head out of my door – a subconscious prejudice against islam? (??) confusion at the idea of praying all day? sickness from seeing women so shrouded? [and i admit the attitudes towards women disturb me, and it's unsettling to have an entire gender be nothing but black shapeless, faceless voids, that seem to float almost – or maybe i just think that because they remind me of shadows ... i have never seen women so covered – many don't even show their eyes.... their absence-of-sorts is perhaps all the more pronounced by the blaring, crisp white ropes – thubes – worn by qatari men.... a discussion of the politics of the abyeya requires exploration on its own later – there's so much there, esp. after a fascinating night out discussing such matters with some qatari women – but i am still learning, so will leave it for now... i do love, however that the 'yield to pedestrians in the cross-walk' signs have the image of an abyeya-clad figure as the image of a pedestrian] frustration at how islam permeates everything and one's identity as an outsider is inescapable? i don't know, but the voices sounded angry.... though at times peaceful and melodic too. then again, i was only outside for a short while – it is still absolutely brutal to be outside during the daytime for very long.... the evenings are getting better, though, even managed to eat dinner along the gulf last night along doha's corniche – quite lovely.

i have certainly landed myself in a most curious place. doha is definitely a crossroads of the world / worlds in collision kind of place.... the locals are a minority in their own country, and there are people here from everywhere. it's a v. diverse place, but at the same time extremely hierarchical, which i find troubling.... it's extremely strange to be in a society this stratified – one's place in the world is determined on the basis of one's nationality and the colour of one's skin - and of course one's gender (and one's religion)... the qataris themselves are at the top – their state treats them very well and there is an unfathomable amount to wealth here (as evidenced by the fact that they import poor people to do the dirty work) there huge numbers of south asians - indians, pakistanis, sri lankans, bangaldeshis – and south east asians – filippinos, thais, etc – and a vast number of non-qatari arabs.... and westerners of course – probably most are here for the oil. the workers / drivers are generally indian – most of whom have families back home that they only get to see about once every two years, but they make more money here than they could ever dream of making at home (and no qatari would do the work they do in the blistering heat (well, nor would they do it in the cool shade)); the fillipinos tend to be secretaries, workers in shops, and such and include women as well.... i'm not accustomed to such a layered society and it feels awkward and almost like a relic of some earlier, more primitive civilization where such divisions were tolerated.... then again, maybe it's just more honest to be open about it – similar stratification exists in the "modern" "civilized" world as well... & there's only so much being dismayed at the system you can do – even though i can happily make my own tea, ishmael at the office would be insulted if i did.... – i introduced myself to the two caretakers at our villa [the name of which is actually "fawlty towers" !!] and tried to teach them my name, but i realized very quickly that they will continue to call me "madame" no matter what.... at least i'm friendly with them.... i have also been able to negotiate with them for an ownership interest in monte carlo the cat, which is good news. :)

in other news, am faking an engagement & renting a car.... best options. braving the crazy driving is better than lacking personal freedom of movement & deflecting the constant attention is better that the discomfort of a small untruth & a bunch of tape around my opal ring so it fits the proper finger.... i could probably get on fine without the ring, but it is just easier – to be an unmarried woman not living with her parents signifies that you are loose and available. plus, it is the first thing any man asks about & it's just easier to be accounted for & unavailable..... speaking of unavailability, i recently learned that there are in fact dorms for women at the qatar university... however, had i lived there, i would have needed my father to fax a permission slip each and every time i wanted to leave (poor ba – the daily "i give mattie permission to go to work today" faxes would have gotten old really fast!). there's a bus that takes the women to and from classes, as well as out on a weekly shopping excursion. otherwise, they need express permission from their fathers for any foray outside the dorm. a blanket permission slip is unacceptable – something a few american college girls who were living there last year learned the hard way... after driving their fathers and the school crazy, they were relocated to an apartment..... great as that would have been for my arabic skills, i think i would have gone insane....

as for sanity, i had a glass of wine last night – haraam! – and even went to a little happy hour – in one of the hotels.... qatar is not entirely dry – foreigners are able to drink in hotel bars and can even purchase alcohol for private consumption with a special permit. when you get your residence card your allotment of alcohol is calculated based on your salary and you are issued a permit which includes your quota. [this would not help me at all, however, because i don't receive a salary so my quota would be zero] ... it's all good though because i've decided to develop a taste for non-alcoholic beer. there is an entire aisle devoted to it at the supermarket. [i forgot to check for non-alcoholic wine coolers, will do so next time] also, the ads for non-alcoholic beer feature the best-looking manly-men i've seen having more fun than i've ever known, so really that must be where it's at. :) on that same shopping trip, i discovered that restrooms in local malls are equipped with prayer rooms – shoes are deposited outside the room, but the shopping bags come in. i think shopping has become a sacred activity here, so it's only appropriate that the latest luxury purchases come to pay homage to allah as well.

ok, i'm burning for that one. and not just in the doha sun.... :) enough of my scattered ramblings for now...